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Monday, December 21, 2009

Official Kissing Day Blogfest!

It's here! *squeals* Okay, I didn't really squeal, but I am sooo excited. I'm ready to head out and read everyone's wonderful smooching scenes, but first I've got to post mine. Wow, suddenly I'm feeling all inadequate.

I'm going to post a first kiss. This is a scene from my WIP, Visions and it's very brief. That's because the main character, Eden, is on the run from The Consortium (the group who governs the walled city in which everyone now lives). Eden is traveling with her father, her younger sister Noren, her BFF Gwyn, and the potential love interest David. They have just found a place in the city where they can hide, so David decides to sneak in a quick kiss in case they're caught.

"The door's here,"David says. I turn to see that he has opened it and is waiting for us. Gwyn has already gone inside.

Dad picks up Noren and starts toward the entrance. "Let's go. We've got to figure out what we're going to do now."

I'm about to follow when David grabs my arm. I try to ignore the tingling sensation that is now creeping over me, but when I lock onto his intense gaze, a small sigh escapes my now parted lips.

"Eden, I...." he whispers, then swiftly leans down and brushes his lips against mine. The tingling is now replaced by a full course of adrenaline rushing through my body, making every inch feel fully alive.

All too soon, he pulls back. I open my eyes and, in the span of a few seconds, try to convey all of the longing I feel for him in one simple look.

He smiles and reaches over to brush a lock of hair behind my ear. "Come on, everyone's waiting."

I know, it's rough. But I'm still in first draft mode. So, what do you think?

34 comments:

  1. I love that he goes wordless, and substitutes verbalizing his feelings with a kiss. Very nice!

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  2. I like David's sudden kiss and his gentle tucking of her hair behind her ear. I feel their intensity. Nicely done.

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  3. I love how he brushes a lock of hair behind her ear --- so intimate somehow.

    I hear you about the sudden oncoming of feeling inadequate. I almost didn't post one of my own.

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  4. i think it captures the intensity and brevity very well! it's a *sigh* kinda moment in the midst of other tension. good stuff.

    jeannie
    Where Romance Meets Therapy

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  5. Oh, it's perfect even if it's short. I love it.

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  6. He brushed her hair away! Squee! I love when guys do that. So sweet. So Romantic.

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  7. I love first kisses! Short and sweet. I'm rather intrigued now.

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  8. SO intimate and sweet! I really enjoyed your scene. thanks for sharing.

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  9. I open my eyes and, in the span of a few seconds, try to convey all of the longing I feel for him in one simple look.

    Loved that line.

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  10. The near kiss is sweet, makes you want for more which I love. Good job!

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  11. That is nice. And, it speaks of More to come.
    Rock on!

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  12. Short and sweet! There's something so intimate about him brushing that stray lock of hair away . . .

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  13. Oooo, very nice. I love it when a guy pulls a girl back to kiss her. Very sigh-worthy! Thanks so much for sharing and making the day more fun! Awesome!!!

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  14. Short and sweet. Love a tender kiss. I felt inadequate too. Check out mine and tell me what you think.

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  15. So much emotion packed into a couple of sentences. That moment of sweetness amidst tension and worry really pulled me in.

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  16. I've got to say... I'm really digging the first person present POV!

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  17. Hit post too soon! I also really liked how he couldn't finish what he wanted to say to her!

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  18. Perfect. I love the urgency of the moment, then he just kisses her. Sighhhhh!!

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  19. David has always made me swoon, but somehow I forgot just how sweet this moment was. Mmmm...I wonder what's coming???

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  20. sweet sweet sweet :) Makes me wanna kiss my hubby...think I will :)

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  21. I love how you captured exactly what a kiss does to you. It really does make you feel more alive! Excellent!

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  22. Ooh! So GOOD! Seriously! Really well done, and in just a few simple words. You my dear, have talent! AWESOME!

    Jenni James

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  23. I really liked your scene. I think it's interesting that you're writing in present tense, and wondered if your whole book takes place in present... and if you normally write that way. I find it difficult, so I was just curious!

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  24. Sweet scene. I love this, " I try to ignore the tingling sensation that is now creeping over me, but when I lock onto his intense gaze, a small sigh escapes my now parted lips."

    Good stuff :o)

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  25. Thanks everyone for the sweet comments:) Ya'll are the best!

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  26. Aww, that was sweet! A kind of "in case I never get the chance again) kiss. Love it!

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  27. What a sweet kiss... almost. Great writing.

    Word Designer
    Word Designer

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  28. I wanted to know what was next, so good job building the excitiement! :O)

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  29. Left a little something for you on my blog! Check it out! http://carol-in-print.blogspot.com/2009/12/have-blog-will-follow.html

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  30. There's a present for you on my blog! Hmmm...looks like another one right before me... :)
    Congrats!

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  31. love how he brushes a lock of hair behind her ear --- so intimate somehow.

    How to make a website

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