So it's the last day of 2013. I've read a lot of posts over the past few days, people reflecting on this past year, some posting goals of what they hope to accomplish in 2014. I haven't really thought of my goals for the new year yet, but I have spent some time thinking about this year and what's happened in my life.
On this day one year ago, I was furiously doing a last round of edits based on my mentor's feedback to get my book ready for Pitch Wars. I was thrilled to be chosen! Then the day that the agents made requests came...and I didn't get any. That hurt a lot, especially when I saw a lot of entries getting multiple requests. The usual insecurities popped up, telling me I wasn't good enough and I should have never entered the contest. I could have given up, but I'd worked too hard on THE EDGE OF FOREVER to just quit. So I asked some lovely ladies in my writing group to take a look at my first chapter and give me some more feedback, made some additional changes, then sent off my first round of queries near the end of February. That also included sending the full to an agent who saw my query at Writeoncon back in 2012 and asked to read it once I was finished.
I was terrified and excited. What if I didn't get any more requests? What if that agent hated my book? Biting nails, I settled in for a long wait. I did get a request from the query right away and some rejections, but mostly nothing.
Then a few weeks later, my last surviving grandmother passed away, three days after my birthday. I was devastated. See, my other grandmother had passed away about 18 months earlier, just a few months after I started drafting THE EDGE OF FOREVER. And now I'd lost both of them. Two beautiful, strong women who had a tremendous influence in my life.
I just felt kind of lost. Like maybe I shouldn't waste my time waiting anymore because life is so short. But then this happened (and I've only told this to family and a few close writing buddies). About three hours after I returned home from the funeral, I got an email from the agent who had the full. She said she was loving my book and wanted the synopsis.
Well, I was a wreck. I was torn between sadness and excitement. I felt guilty for feeling excited. No joke, I was grinning and crying as I hit send on that synopsis. Yeah, talk about being on a roller coaster. But I also knew that both of my grandmothers would have told me to be happy. After all, this was part of my dream that I'd been wanting since I was in middle school!
To make a long story short, I signed with that agent two weeks later (waves at Awesome Agent Suzie), and I haven't looked back since. I even have a fantastic Brazilian book deal! Sure, more waiting has been involved, but I'm okay with it. I've told myself to just keep going. Keep writing my next book. Keep looking forward to the future. Keep living.
And with that, I want to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2014 be the year that your dreams come true!